I Won't Say I'm in Love
by Asagi Tsuki
Summary: Draco loves someone but he's too stubborn to admit it


**I Won't Say I'm in Love**

By: Asagi Tsuki

Pairing: Harry/Draco

Summary: Draco loves someone but he's too stubborn to admit it

Warning: OOCness (some characters might be OOC). Also, pardon my lack of language diversity, but English isn't my first language and I'm really not used to British English. I'm currently in Australia, but still none the wiser in Oz slang. Another warning, I read the books and watched the film (although only until Order of Phoenix. I didn't read or watch HBP and DH), but I have to be honest, I'm starting to forget the characters -_-;;; not all, obviously, so I won't be including those I don't really remember well

Disclaimer: obviously, Harry Potter is not written by me. If it were, it would be so lame, that this fandom would be non-existent. And I would be off writing another book instead of fanfics

A/N: I have a couple of fics I'm currently working on, but due to my muse running off in the middle, I'm stuck. So, I've been singing along to lots of songs lately, and some Disney songs caught my attention, including this one. Truthfully, I watched this one because I was curious after reading Zero to Hero by Cheryl Dyson (awesome fic this one is). I was thinking of doing either this one or A Whole New World (Aladdin) but I decided on this one. Might still try writing the other one though.

It's a songfic but not quite a songfic. The lyrics are said, sometimes with some modification, instead of sung or written as headings, and I'm taking bits of the original scene from the movie xD

An important note: this fic is NOT canon-compliant. Not at all. This is also written entirely from Draco's side

Anyway, enjoy!

**I Won't Say I'm in Love**

"Honestly!" Pansy shouted as she threw her hands up and glared at Draco who sat across her. "When exactly are you going to stop moping?"

Draco pointedly ignored her and kept on eating his breakfast, only stopping to duck when Pansy threw a sausage at him and it landed on the floor behind him.

"Pans, leave him alone," Blaise said with a tired sigh. "It's only been three weeks since the bastard left anyway. Give him some space. You would mope around too."

"No I wouldn't. I'll be looking for someone else," Pansy said with a snort. "That idiot is clearly not good enough for you anyway. You should've dumped him before he left."

Draco groaned and banged his head on the table after he pushed his plate away. "If there's a prize for rotten judgment, I'm sure I've already won that."

Pansy sighed. She reached over and patted Draco's head consolingly. "Come on, it's not your fault that bloody jerk is a bastard."

Draco groaned and stood back upright, drinking his pumpkin juice slowly, his mind wandering off to the moments he spent with his ex-boyfriend.

Yes, boyfriend.

After Pansy accidentally outed him in fifth year, right after the students had come back from Christmas holiday, a Slytherin sixth year had asked him out. Luke Kirkland was a gentleman, respectable and well-mannered. He had treated him well and he agreed. They had dated for one and a half year until Luke's graduation came and he suddenly broke it off with Draco, saying it was fun while it lasted, but he never had any intention to keep the relationship.

Apparently he was feeling rebellious, and wanted to feel the thrill of a secret, forbidden relationship—it was kept a secret from his family. Draco had told his mother about it, luckily, and when Luke left, she was the one to comfort him and warn him before going into a relationship again.

After all, a year and a half wasn't a short time.

"You'll find a good man one day," Pansy continued. "Heck, maybe you'd even find one in our year! But you have to quit moping to do that!"

"No, Pans," Draco said as he slumped forward, picking at his egg with his fork. "No one is worth the aggravation. And don't you dare tell me otherwise. I've been there done that."

"Draco, honey, not everyone is a bloody rebellious bastard like that jerk," Pansy said as she rolled her eyes.

"Whatever," Draco said stubbornly.

"Fine, be that way," Pansy said finally.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Four months into their seventh year, Draco had finally let go of Luke, not groaning and cursing him into next year anymore. Pansy knew that at least if he somehow ran into the boy, he wouldn't try to cast an Unforgivable on him anymore.

Although, she would be more than happy to cast one for him if the jerk had said something to hurt Draco again. After all, it took her such a long time to get him to quit moping and she wasn't going to have a cold-blooded bastard ruin all her hard work.

And now, six months into their seventh year, Pansy suspected that Draco had finally liked someone else, although she wasn't still sure who exactly. Blaise seemed to know, though.

"Blaise," Pansy called as she walked into the Slytherin common room. "Is Draco seeing someone?"

"I wouldn't put it that way yet," Blaise said as he flipped through the textbook for his essay. "But yeah, I guess you could say that."

"Who is it?" Pansy asked curiously.

"Have you noticed anyone acting strangely lately?" Blaise asked back.

Pansy at back in the armchair and started remembering. She didn't see a lot of Draco in class because they took different classes, but on the off chance that she actually did see him, she usually also saw someone nearby, either helping Draco carry his books or talking about random things.

Pansy gasped. Blaise smirked.

"Potter!" Pansy nearly shrieked. "He's seeing Potter?"

"I told you I won't say it that way yet," Blaise said easily, scratching out the last line he had written.

"Why?" Pansy asked as she frowned. "I mean, he's never paid attention to Draco before. Why now?"

"He knows Kirkland left him."

Pansy growled. "I swear if he does this out of pity, or if he thinks Draco's easy, I'm going to—"

"Don't bother, I already talked to him," Blaise said as he waved his hand dismissively. "It appears that Boy Wonder somewhat fell for Draco at the end of fifth year. Of course, at that time, he was already with Kirkland, so he waited until now to make his move. That's what he said."

"And you believe him?" Pansy asked in distaste.

"He swore on his magic," Blaise replied with a shrug. Pansy's jaw dropped. "I'm not lying."

Pansy shook her head to clear the daze and stared at the ceiling, mulling over what Blaise had just said. If Potter really liked Draco, then maybe he could be the one to help Draco to just forget Kirkland and move on already.

"I'm going to talk to Draco."

"See ya around."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Pansy didn't actually talk to Draco about it until three days later, after she had watched the two enough. Draco liked to feel important, and Potter was nothing if not chivalrous.

"Draco," Pansy started as soon as she finished her breakfast, although she made sure Draco wasn't in the process of chewing or drinking something. "Are you seeing Potter?"

It turned out that her precaution wasn't needed after all because Draco managed to choke on his own saliva.

"What? Where did you get that idea from?" Draco asked, flustered as he coughed.

"Somewhere. Answer the question dear," Pansy insisted.

"What's it to you?" Draco asked as he sniffed.

"Aw, you like him," Pansy cooed as she grinned widely.

"I don't!" Draco protested.

"No need to be in denial, Draco. Who are you kidding? I can see right through you, you know," Pansy said, her grin not faltering in the slightest.

"No," Draco said, staring down at his plate. "I don't want to be used again."

Pansy cocked her head. "Didn't he tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"That he liked you since fifth year," Pansy answered. "He had been waiting for the opportunity to go after you, it seems. Since he's still comfortable with casting spells, I should think that's the truth."

"What do you mean?" Draco asked suspiciously.

"Blaise asked him why he's all over you lately," Pansy replied. "He swore on his magic."

Draco's jaw dropped in shock. "He did it out of his own free will?"

"Yeah," Pansy confirmed. She smiled a little at Draco, and tactfully decided to leave him alone for a while. She knew that at this moment, no matter how hard she tried, Draco wouldn't admit it just yet anyway.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Pansy and Blaise had shared a mutual favorite pastime since then—watching Draco and Potter. It was amusing, to say the least. After knowing that Potter had liked him since fifth year, he continuously tried to deter the other boy, but it was having the opposite effect—he was the one being deterred from trying to deter Potter.

"Look at that, he's definitely swooning," Pansy said as she laughed, hiding behind a suit of armor in the corridor with Blaise.

"Aren't we glad he's our friend," Blaise said as he chuckled. "Free entertainment all the time."

That night, the three of them gathered in the common room. Pansy sat in an armchair, Blaise sat on the sofa and Draco was lying on the sofa, his feet propped up on Blaise's lap.

"Why?" Draco moaned as he covered his own face with a cushion and Pansy wondered for a moment if he was trying to choke himself to death. "I thought I've learned my lesson."

"Maybe you have," Pansy said encouragingly. "Maybe he won't hurt you."

"No," Draco said as he shook his head. "It always feels good when we start out, but only time will tell if we'll last. It had been great with Luke when we first started too. I don't want this to be a passing phase with Potter."

"Draco—"

"I'm not ready to cry my heart out again, Pans," Draco said as he sat up, digging his heel into Blaise's thighs, earning him a yelp from the other boy. "I'm not."

"Oh Drake," Pansy said as she moved to the couch and sat beside Draco. "You got it bad."

"What?" Draco asked, taken aback. "Why would you say that?"

"Because you wouldn't say that otherwise," Pansy said matter-of-factly. "You got it bad, honey." 

"No!" Draco protested. "No I don't."

"Fine, I'll let you swim in the river for a while longer."

Draco simply glared at his two unhelpful friends.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Valentine's Day rolled by and Draco locked himself in the common room. Thankfully it was on weekend so they didn't have to worry about classes. He only exited the Slytherin dungeons to head to the Great Hall to eat. There, Pansy and Blaise presented him with an iris each.

"Thank you," Draco said as he accepted the flowers, and handed them a small box of chocolates each.

"Has Potter given you anything?" Pansy asked curiously.

Draco sighed and shook his head. "Why would he want to give me anything?"

"Oh Draco, there's still time," Pansy said as she patted his hand. "I'm sure he wouldn't pass up this chance for anything."

"Why wouldn't he?"

"Draco, come on. I'm tired of letting you sink deeper in this river already," Pansy said as she huffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "You're obviously smitted by Potter. Why won't you just admit it."

Draco shook his head stubbornly. "I will admit it when he shows it to me through something I like the most," he said determinedly. "Not like he knows what I like anyway."

"I wouldn't put it past him. He seems like the stalker type," Blaise commented idly and Pansy shot him a glare.

Dinner went by with relative peace, and afterwards Draco found himself going up to the Astronomy Tower. He liked stargazing so it had become one of his favorite spot. Plus, he could try to forget the gnawing frustration at the thought that Potter hadn't given him anything that day.

"Why would I want him to give me anything?" Draco asked angrily, but then stared at the full moon and sighed. "I've got it bad, haven't I? And so soon too. I'm stupid."

He continued to stare up at the stars. "Well, at least I won't admit it out loud yet."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Draco didn't know when exactly he fell asleep. All he knew was that he woke up very much uncomfortable on the cold floor, his back aching. He stirred slightly and noticed that there was another robe spread over him, covering him like a blanket. He sat up, wondering who could it belonged to, when something caught his eye.

There beside his hand, lay a single stem of newly-bloomed white lily, and a Gryffindor tie was wrapped around its stem like a ribbon. He smiled as he picked it up, inhaling the strong, sweet smell of the flower, and grinned.

Maybe it was time to admit it out loud.

**At Least Not Out Loud**

Do you believe me if I said the whole point of the fic is the last scene? I like the last scene in the original movie cut when this song was sung, when Megara held onto the white flower and lay down on the edge of a fountain. That was what inspired the last scene, and subsequently, the whole fic xD

And that's it :D hope you enjoyed it, even in the slightest. If you do, please leave a review because I'm a comment whore :3

If anyone's curious, the meaning for Iris that I chose is "friendship", and the meaning of the white lily I chose is "It's heavenly to be with you".


End file.
